If my heart was a house
by banygirl03
Summary: A young woman meets the man of her dreams but along the way there is not only love but also hate and hurt. Will they be strong enough to survive or will her past destroy HER forever? A Ben Graupner fanfic...
1. Chapter 1

**If my heart was a house...**

**Chapter 1:** The One? (27.1.11)

**Chapter 2:** The Date!

**Chapter 3:** Meeting the family

**Chapter 4: **Is it ever this easy?

**Chapter 5:** Long story short

**Chapter 6:**Oh Baby...

**Chapter 7:** Coming home

**Chapter 8:** Cuz' I can

**Chapter 9:** Road trip

**Chapter 10:** Fighting for you

**Chapter 11:** The big question

**Chapter 12:** Wait a little longer

**Chapter 13:** Breakthrough

**Chapter 14:** It's a...

**Chapter 15:** What you do to me

**Chapter 16:** Vacation

**Chapter 17:** Jealousy

**Chapter 18:** You ARE the one!

**Chapter 19:** What's mine isn't yours!

**Chapter **20: Happy End?

**Chapter 21:** ….you'd be home!

OK...so there you've got a little list of what the chapters will be called...it may change while I'm writing this...

Anyway...last night I couldn't sleep and when I finally did I had a dream...about Ben Graupner...and since it was so detailed and I can't get it out of my head I decided to write a story about it and post it here...I'll try to update every week but since I'm going to work soon I'm not sure I can make it on time...we'll see. Hope you enjoy it!

Ben's age seems to be a mystery sooooo I just made him the same age as Jackson since they were class mates in Interlochen …..

Lots of love and hugs...banygirl...XOXO

_**Chapter 1:**_

What a terrible day! I was totally exhausted and only wanted to fall into my bed and sleep for the next 20 years...

I am a social worker...I'm 25 and moved to LA 4 years ago...after I finished my education as a support worker for people with a disability.

I truly loved my job but sometimes it was so damn exhausting. I was living with my best friend Vanessa...also known by Nessie. We moved together after her break-up from her shitty ex-boyfriend,a total control freak. We both started working at the same Center but I soon found myself missing something. So now I'm working as a free assistant for people with a disability. They are all still teenagers with very rich parents who only want whats best for their kids. I love the kids but the parents are horrible. They want their kids to be something they can never be. And in the end they make them unhappy. I try my best to fulfill each wish but sometimes I have to say no. and parents never like to hear no. Like today. I got into a huge fight with a mother. The whole situation is totally fucked up and now I'm left to decide to report the situation or not.

I was drifting of to sleep when I heard a knock on my door.

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

"Hey sweets...I heard of what happened today...and well...I thought you might wanna go out with me and James." Nessie asked as she sat down next to me.

She truly turned into my best friend. We went to the same school together and soon found we were like soul mates so since 7 years nothing could separate us.

"Where to?"

"Roxy. James wanted to celebrate his birthday..."

"Its only next month"

"Yeah you know him...he's turning 35...which means its the end of his life...or whatever..."

I had to laugh at that. James was probably my oldest friend. Back in Germany we used to live next door. His brother was my classmate and a total ass. When they moved back to LA James and I always talked over Skype, wrote mails, called and so on. He was like my older brother. He also helped me decide what I wanted to do with my life. And when I started my education he offered me a job here in LA at the Center even though he knew I never wanted such a job. I'm a free spirit. I can't follow rules and a straight plan. I know the reasons for that but I don't dare to talk about it. Another cute thing about James is-he's gay. And he LOVES to gossip. He turned from a big brother to my very best friend.

"Well...tell the bitch I'm coming but he has to buy me a drink...or two..." I said as I tried to drag myself into the shower.

The Roxy was packed. And the longer we stayed the more it seemed that James had invited the whole city to come. It was a fun night. Until the moment where I just couldn't dance or laugh anymore. I just wanted to sit down and be alone. The stress of the week finally got to me. So I excused myself and went outside to get some fresh air. I stood outside a watched all the people laughing and having fun. They all seemed to have no problems. But I guess even for them it was just a facade. I sighed again and turned to go back inside and say goodbye when I ran right into someone. I almost fell back onto my ass but was caught by two strong arms circling me and keeping me steady. I had a strong hold of the shoulders belonging to those arms. I looked up and saw the most amazing green eyes in the world. And the most amazing smile.

"I'm sorry...I...I..."

"It's OK. No harm done. You OK?"

"Yeah...I'm fine."

"Good."

I expected him to let go of me...but he didn't. He just kept looking at me and honestly I didn't want him to let me go.

"I'm Ben. By the way."

"I know...I mean I'm Olivia."

"So you know huh?" he grinned..._oh dear Lord please don't let me wake up now!_

"Yes I do. I a fan of the band."

"The band or Jackson?"

"The band. I love your music not the guys...I'm not a twelve year old girl nor a 40 years old divorced woman with a weird sense of reality."

"doesn't matter..we love all our fans. No matter how crazy they are."

"Good to know. Well Ben...it was nice meeting you but I have to get back in. I'm celebrating a birthday."

"Well than...happy birthday..."

"Oh its not mine. My best friend is celebrating his birthday a month earlier because he is scared of getting old and just wants to get it over with and...I should just shut up. I'm sorry."

"What were you doing out here alone?"

"Oh I just needed to get some fresh air and clear my head a little."

"Well I'm sure they can miss you for a few more minutes. Come on keep me some company."

"What? You afraid of the dark or something?" _what the hell is wrong with me? I never talk to guys. Never..._

"No but I somehow like talking to you."

"OK."

"Just OK?"

"Jap. What else do you want me to say?"

"Cool."

He finally let go of me and I instantly missed him...but he seemed to think so too, took my hand and let me away from the door to sit a bench.

"So where are you from?"

"Germany. Why?"

"Well I could guess you're not from here. You look way to normal for that. And the accent. Well no accent."

"What?"

"You don't have an accent. Most people do. You can tell the difference."

"Well if it calms you down I do have an accent but only when I'm speaking German."

"That's cool. What are you doing here in LA? Vacation?"

"No. I live here. I work here."

"Oh. How come?"

"The mentioned friend had offered me a job a few years back so I moved here and started working for him, I changed my job direction soon after but he was the reason I came here."

"Wow. That's a pretty big step."

"Only for the fearful. I wanted to escape my old life. I needed a big change. Something to keep me going and give me a new perspective on life. And a whole new world opened up for me. I can't say I regret it."

"That's amazing. But don't you miss your family?"

"Like crazy. But they know me. They know the changes I have made make me happy now. They finally turned me into the person I wanna be so they are OK with it. And there is Skype and paper to write letters...and emails...and all that stuff, you know. And a yearly visit. I had to promise my mom."

"So you came down here all alone?"

"No I came with my friend Nessie."

"Sounds pretty cool to me. Listen I gotta go back inside. We have a surprise gig today...but...here write down your number..." he handed me a pan and a paper.

"Why Mr. Pushy?"

"Woman don't play hard to get. You seem like the kind of woman I like and I want to get to know you. So give me your number and I will call you. If I don't see you later that is."

He smiled at me and instead of being offended I wrote down my number and gave the paper to him but kept the pen.

"Thanks...so wanna come inside with me?"

I took his hand and let him lead back inside.

"I'll call. I promise." he gave me a tight hug which turned my legs into jelly.

"OK. See you than Mr. Graupner." I smiled and turned to walk away when his hand stopped me. He gave me a piece of paper with a number on it.

"Just so you know who is calling you..." and with that he turned around and left.

The show was amazing. I didn't expect anything else. When I came back to the group they all stared at me and asked stupid questions. Apparently James had seen me with Ben and couldn't stop nagging me with it.

And soon it was time for me and Nessie to go home.

Now we were sitting on the kitchen eating our breakfast and not talking at all. Like always. We hated talking in the morning. When I was in bed last night I saved Ben's number in my phone. Now his pen was still lying on the kitchen table where I had put it yesterday.

"Hey Ness..."

"Hm"

"You remember when we wanted to got to see the band a few months back and you suddenly became sick and couldn't go..."

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well last night when James saw me with that guy...it was one of the band members."

"No way."

"Yea way. We ran into each other while I was outside and we started talking and I gave him my number and he gave me his and now I keep waiting for him to call and all that and I'm totally scared because you know what happened last time I was with someone..."

"Shut up! Good God Liv! This is amazing. You have been single for 7 years. You never even talk to guy. Every time they try you just ignore them and if you gave that guy your number that must be pretty big..."

"I know...it was weird. I mean I wanted to go back inside and ran right into him and he caught me and we talked and he didn't let me go and than we sat on a bench and talked some more and even though I feel like an idiot for the things I said at that moment it just felt...right...like I could tel him everything."

"That's amazing. You deserve to be happy again."

"Thanks babe. So how is it going with you and the hot Italian lover?"

"It's good. Well you know...taking it slow and all that stuff...but I really like him..."

"So he's good in bed and you want nothing more?"

"Jap."

We looked at each other and laughed. We could read each other like a book. Our teachers always thought we were weird. Even in tests we had the same mistakes, the same grade, the same points...everything totally alike. But it helped us. We could have open conversations without being open. We knew the other would read just the right thing into it.

"I don't know what to get him..."

"why do you look at me? If I had a clue I wouldn't tell you!"

"Great...so how about we give him a...damn it...I hate shopping."

Nessie and I were running though all the shops we knew to find the perfect gift for James. I was in a bad mood. For the last 3 weeks. And the reason behind it was a man. Not just any man but Ben fucking Graupner. He had promised to call and didn't. Nessie tried to reason with me. She was right. I had his number. But it didn't mean I had to call first when he promised. In reality I was just too insecure to call him. The fact that he hadn't called truly meant he didn't care right?

"OK you bitch...lets look somewhere else. Maybe we can go eat somewhere."

"Sure why not."

We were sitting in a nice small cafe. Owned by Mrs. Claber. Nessie and I found the cafe on one of our first shopping trips and now we came here once a week. Mrs. Claber is an elderly lady with a weird sense of humor. The opened the cafe when her husband dies 15 years ago.

"How about...a massage at the Merche? He loves going there.." She looked so happy...to bad I had to destroy little Nessies happiness.

"Na we gave him that for Christmas last years."

"Right."

"I thought about...Oh sorry." my phone started ringing and I desperately tried to get it out of my bag. When I finally did I almost died. It was Ben. On the screen was his name in big fat letters.

"Oh my god its him...what am I gonna do?"

"Pick up pick up pick!"

"Hello?"

"Uhm...hey...this is...Ben."

"Hey..."

"Would it help if I said I was sorry...and that I wanted to call you?"

"Depends on why you didn't"

"Well believe me or not I was scared shitless. I mean I don't know what happened but somehow I just...well I can't get you out of my head and I couldn't stop talking about you and the guys almost killed me. And I was scared to call because I thought maybe it was just me"

"Apology accepted."

"Oh thank god. So how have you been?" I_'ve been missing you like crazy and waited for you to call and everytime my phone rang I got a heart attack..._

"Good. Had lots of work to do and the usual party to go to. How about you?"

"Great. Me? Well I've been driving everyone crazy and had some band stuff to do."

"Cool."

"So how about a date."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Tell me something I can give a 35 year old gay best friend who is totally crazy...and I mean gay on the Elton John level..."

"Uhm...how about a surprise party at a gay bar?"

"YES! That's great. He'll love that! Thank you.."

"No problem. So pick you up at 8?"

"Sure...can't wait" _oh damn it! Me and my big mouth!_

"me either. See ya than. Bye." and he hung up...

a minute later he called again.

"Yes?"

"I need the address.."

So this is it...i already started working on the next one. Which (in my opinion) is better than the first. But I hope you like it anyway...Reviews make me happy and the happier I get the fast I'll post!


	2. The Date

**If my heart was a house...**

**Chapter 1:** The One? (27.1.11)

**Chapter 2:** The Date! (29.12.11)

**Chapter 3:** Meeting the family

**Chapter 4: **Is it ever this easy?

**Chapter 5:** Long story short

**Chapter 6:**Oh Baby...

**Chapter 7:** Coming home

**Chapter 8:** Cuz' I can

**Chapter 9:** Road trip

**Chapter 10:** Fighting for you

**Chapter 11:** The big question

**Chapter 12:** Wait a little longer

**Chapter 13:** Breakthrough

**Chapter 14:** It's a...

**Chapter 15:** What you do to me

**Chapter 16:** Vacation

**Chapter 17:** Jealousy

**Chapter 18:** You ARE the one!

**Chapter 19:** What's mine isn't yours!

**Chapter **20: Happy End?

**Chapter 21:** you'd be home!

**Chapter 2 The Date **

Nessie and I quickly went home and called a few friends of James. We found a bar a booked a special birthday present for him. After everything was organized as far as we could for one day I went to take a shower and get ready.

Now I was standing in front of my closet. I decided to wear my black skinny jeans with a yellow top and a black cardigan and my new high heels. I straightened my hair and put a little make up on. And by the time it was 7 I was done.

Sitting on the sofa and waiting for Ben was horrible. Every five minutes I looked up because a car drove by. And at 7:30 a car parked right outside our house. I made Nessie peek through the window and see if it was Ben and sure enough it was him.

So I grabbed my purse and went outside. When he saw me he quickly got out of the car.

"Hey. I know I知 early but I was ready and Jay threw me out and...you look beautiful"

"Hey thank you. Well good thing I was already ready. So shall we go?"

"Yeah. Come on."

He held open the car door for me and helped me into his car and quickly ran to the driver side. He definitely was nervous.

"So where are we going?"

"I uhm I booked us a table at Frankie痴."

"What's Frankie痴?"

"It's a really nice restaurant. You'll like it."

"OK. I'm up for surprises."

the rest of the drive was spend listening to music and somehow all this felt wrong. Ben wasn't as easy going as the day I met him. And I didn't know how to start a conversation.

When we finally arrived at the restaurant I was a little disappointed. It was one of those high class restaurants which probably had food that cost more that my rent. But I smiled and let him lead me into it.

Now we were sitting at a table waiting for our food and still not talking.

"Uhm...excuse me for a minute.I got up and ran to the bathroom and called Nessie.

"This is terrible. You know how much I hate these fancy things. I thought we were doing something fun and now this."

"Just tell him. If he is as you say he probably feels uncomfortable as well."

"How can I tell him I hate it here? I don't want to sound rude. Maybe this was a bad idea. I'm not made for relationships and dates and all that stuff."

"Listen...normally its you who is the grown up and the psychologist in our relationship but now we switch bodies. Go back out there and tell him how you feel. Tell him you appreciate his afford but that you would like something less fancy. I'm sure he'll understand. OK?"

"OK. Thank you. Love you!

I hung up took a deep breath and walked back out. Ben was still sitting in his spot looking like someone had beat a dog with the paper. That poor guy.

I walked over and while I went to my seat I let my hand run over his shoulder.

"Hey..."

"Hey...so..."

"Listen Ben I really...oh damn...this is not me. I hate these fancy restaurants and all that fancy stuff. I'm sorry but I feel totally out of place here. I know you probably put a lot of thought into it and I really appreciate it but can we please go somewhere else?"

"Oh thank god. This wasn't my idea. The guys said to take you here. And I well I listened to them."

"Ben I'm not a Hollywood girl you know. I'm just me. You could give a million dollars and I'd still rather eat at some drive through. I'm not a fancy girl. I love to look at designer clothes but I wouldn't wanna buy them. I'm very happy with the live I have. I don't need expensive things to be happy. I've had that before and it ruined everything I worked for. I want a normal life. Well as normal as possible. I would love to travel around the world with just a backpack instead on a big yacht. I love to walk around little shops and nothing fancy. I love to wear vintage clothes and if I ever get fat I don't need a gym. I'll just ride my bike or go running around the city. I don't need a big house because I love the cozyness of my small apartment. Its not much, its all I can afford but its mine. My things are in there, I painted the walls and I decorated it. It's the small things in life that make me happy."

Ben just looked at me and somehow I feared I've said all the wrong things. Maybe he needed all this. Maybe he wanted to become as rich as possible so he could spend as much as possible. He didn't seem to be that kind of person but...you never know. I've been trapped in this situation once and it left me deep scars.

Suddenly he smiled and took my hand.

"Thank you. I appreciate your honesty. I...well...we do live in LA and most girls I've dated wanted all this fancy stuff and I thought better safe than sorry and...god I sound so stupid right now...listen I really like you. Don't ask me what it is but I just want to be The One you know? Because you are certainly the one for me..."

"Than just be you. Ben I..._how can I tell him? _I looked down at the table and sighed.

"Whats wrong?"

"Ben I've been in a totally fake relationship. It didn't do me any good. I'm probably not the best girlfriend in the world but I'm trying..."

"What do you mean 'fake relationship'?"

"I was married before..."

"Lets get out of here. "

Ben grabbed my hand and let me back to the car. Than we got some fast food and drove high above the city, sat down and watched the city below it.

"This is great.I sighed.

"Good. Its my secret hiding place when the world gets on my nerves. So that have been some pretty big news...I mean your only 23..."

"I know."

"Tell me about it."

"This isn't exactly first date material..."

"I don't care. It seems to be on your mind. So if it on your mind while you're on a date with me it must be pretty big. So tell me. I just wanna know. I'm not running away or anything. I just need to know what has happened."

"Well when I was 17 I met a guy. I fell in love- at least I think I did- and everything went really fast. I had just lost my father because of a big fight and my mum was moving to another city and I had decided I didn't wanna go with her. And he asked me to move in with him after only 4 months and I agreed. And it worked perfectly. And after a few months he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I thought we would wait a little. I mean I was only 18 when he asked. But he stared organizing things and since he wasn't German all his stuff had to be go over embassy and it took some time and the more he did the more frightened I got. I still loved him and didn't wanna lose him. And than one night he threatened to leave me if I didn't go to the council with him and book a date for the wedding and I was scared and went with him. And only 4 months later we got married. He changed from a cool, free and funny guy into...a husband. A 1950's husband. I was supposed to stay home, not have a job but it didn't work out. He was still studying and we needed more money. And so I found a job. I was better paid than him and suddenly everything financial was stuck on me. He had so many dept's that we could barley pay for it. People came and took things that once belonged to me just to pay for his dep'ts. And I just stood by. I couldn't do anything and I was too scared to tell my family. And than I got sick and lost my job. So he took a second one. At a Mexican restaurant. He worked every weekend and we barley saw each other anymore. And he changed. He stared drinking and came home to unholy hours. Sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the early or late mornings and sometimes he came he shortly before he had to go back to work. And all this broke me apart. I was angry and we fought a lot and he became aggressive. He only hit me once because right after I broke his hand. But he used words to break me. We never had enough money to pay our monthly bills but he kept buying stuff and sending it to his family. To the world it looked like we had lots of money but in reality we sometimes didn't have enough to eat. I got a depression and almost killed myself. And than I went to see my mom over Christmas and she kept me. She wouldn't let me go back. And I'm thankful for that. It took me a while to realize what he had done to me. But he locked me away. He had locked my body away at home and my freedom too. I wasn't me anymore. I didn't laugh anymore and had the energy to do anything but when I moved away it changed. I barley spend time home. As soon as the weather lightened up I was outside. All day. I always listened to music and danced. No matter where I was. I went to local street festivals. Made new friends. I got a job and could pay my own bills. And it gave me confidence. And with every day I spend away from him I turned back into myself. I don't ever wanna lose my freedom again Ben. Never. But I also don't wanna be alone. So if it ever appears to you that I'm hiding from you I'm not. I'm a free spirit and I'm trying to keep it that way.

"Thank you."

I just looked at him because I didn稚 expect that. Anger and pity maybe but not a thank you.

"Thank you?"

"Yes for telling me. Even though I want to punch something right now. How could he do this to you?"

"Ben I don't need pity OK...I...you wanted to know and I told you. I'm still insecure not just about what I say or how I look but mostly what people think of me. I don't want to make mistakes. And I still don't feel completely comfortable in my skin. But I知 learning this. I haven稚 had a date in years and with you I feel safe. I don't feel stupid. And I feel like I can tell you things without you picking them apart. So I guess you are The One..."

"I meant thank you for being honest. Considering your story it must have been hard for you to tell me and that you trust me enough to tell me about it means a lot to me. Are you divorced?"

"Yes. We made a deal. He gets the German citizenship with my help and I get a divorce without a fight. I didn't want any money from him or anything even though I could have. I just wanted to be free."

"So you coming to LA was a runaway?"

"Kind of. Right after graduation I moved here. A week later. I needed a new place. Somewhere far away where nobody knew me and my story and where I could start again. James introduced me to a lawyer and he kind of deleted my marriage. So I could start completely new."

I looked down at the city and wondered if this was it now. Would he run away? Would he look down upon me and make fun of me like the ex did? But instead I felt his arms reach around me and his face pressed into my neck. And for the first time since 6 years I cried. It was probably the last time I would cry over this situation because telling Ben about it made me free.

"I'm sorry he hurt you so bad. I'm sorry there is no way for me to help you and I知 sorry I can't punch him...but I just want you to know that I will never hurt you. All you'll ever feel with me is safety...and I hope that I can repair that broken heart.I felt a tear run down my neck and even though it was his pain it made me whole. I sighed and slipped my hand into his hair, cuddled my head into his and kissed it.

"Thank you.

We sat like this for a while and I could have stayed here forever. But the annoying sound of my phone broke us apart. Ben looked at me and kissed my forehead, reached for my bag and gave it to me. 的'm sorry.

Nessie had tried to call. And when she couldn't reach me she send a message: Italian toy boy is over. Sleep somewhere else! XD love ya 

"Great...I mumbled.

"What's up?"

"Oh Nessie just wrote. She has her...boyfriend...of whatever we're grown up...her toy boy over and basicaly threw me out on the streets for the night. So I'll have to either stay with James- which I will never do again- or get a room in some hotel."

"No you don't. Come on. We'll drive home to my place and you can sleep in my room. I'll take the couch."

"No...Ben you don't need to do this. I'll be fine."

"Shut up woman and get into the car."

The drive to his house was shorter than I liked. I knew he didn't live alone and it scared me. I would probably have to talk to someone and I'd make a fool of myself and Ben would dumb me. My biggest fear. But the house was dark when we arrived. And when we entered no one was home. Ben grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs.

"So don't be shocked. Its a guys room.

"Nothing can shock me. I have an older brother."

He opened the door and I was surprised. I had imagined it more messy. His room was not that big but he had a huge bed in it. On one side of the room were cupboards and a clothes rack. On another side was a desk with a laptop and folders. There were papers all over the desk and around it on the floor. Clothes were lying over chairs and the bed along with magazines and books. And on his bedside table I noticed a small piece of paper with my number on it. All his Cd's were organized on a rack and on one of the cupboards stood a picture of what I assume were his parents.

As soon as we entered he started putting things away but I stopped him.

"Its OK. I don't mind. This is so...you.I looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Jay always says I'm to messy and one day I'll get lost in here...he brushed some hair out of his face and smiled at me. And the longer I looked at him the less he smiled. He wet his lips as I put my hands on his arm and slowly moved them up to his shoulder. And with a final look into my eyes he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine and I felt like getting a heart attack. I let out a sigh as he wrapped one arm around my waist to pull me closer while his other hand landed on my neck and face. He let his tongue slip over my lips and soon we were fighting a battle. He stared to massage my neck and my ass while he moved us backwards and suddenly turned around and fell onto the bed with me straddling him. I broke the kiss to get some air but Ben obviously hadn't enough. He just moved his lips from mine to my neck and back up only to capture my lips again.

"Hey Ben we're home...Shit...

we broke apart and I jumped off of Ben like someone had shot me. Ben just grinned and took my hand. He gave me one last kiss and walked me downstairs. And my nightmare became reality. Instead of just one person 4 looked at me and grinned. Well...hello there! Please shoot me now...

"Hey guys,,,this is Olivia. Olivia this is Ben, Jackson, Jared and our dear Uncle Larry..."

"Hey...they said in a union still grinning and I wanted to slap them

"Hey guys..."

"So Liv will stay here over the night. Her roommate threw her out and...anyway."

"Cool. So we thought we could practice a little but since you're busy."

"No no no don't change plans because of me. I'll just...I find something to occupy myself with."

"you sure?"

"Of course. I can just listen to you right? Are you hungry? I could cook for you guys. I need to shut up. Please shut me up!I looked up at Ben and tried not to cry. I hated this. Every time I got nervous or angry I started crying...

"Its OK Darlin'. Just take a deep was not Ben but Jackson. Didn't matter. 的t's alright. We think its cool that Ben has finally found someone. And if we would've known you're here we would have brought our girl along. So lets just forget about practice. How about we order some pizza and just talk?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Instead of ordering pizza I offered to make it myself and with the little elf痴 helping it turned out to be a lot of fun and soon we were seated around the living room and juts talking.

**OK so this is it. Liv's story is very important to me since it is my own and it just felt right to bring it in. I hope you liked this chapter and I'll be posting more soon. Probably tomorrow since chapter 3 is almost done. **

**I'm a fast writer and sometime I think faster than I can write. So mistakes can happen. I'm sorry for that. And also translation mistakes. I sometimes get confused over which word is right because I leanred AE & BE almost at the same time so...again I'm sorry. But feel free to correct me if you see anything...and my ****笛****button is broken so it sometimes happens that Jackson or Jerad lose their first letter... :) **

**Reviews make my day...**

**Love and hugs**

**banygirl**


	3. Meeting the family

**If my heart was a house...**

**Chapter 1:** The One? (27.1.12)

**Chapter 2:** The Date! (29.1.12)

**Chapter 3:** Meeting the family (21.3.12)

**Chapter 4: **Is it ever this easy?

**Chapter 5:** Long story short

**Chapter 6:**Oh Baby...

**Chapter 7:** Coming home

**Chapter 8:** Cuz' I can

**Chapter 9:** Road trip

**Chapter 10:** Fighting for you

**Chapter 11:** The big question

**Chapter 12:** Wait a little longer

**Chapter 13:** Breakthrough

**Chapter 14:** It's a...

**Chapter 15:** What you do to me

**Chapter 16:** Vacation

**Chapter 17:** Jealousy

**Chapter 18:** You ARE the one!

**Chapter 19:** What's mine isn't yours!

**Chapter **20: Happy End?

**Chapter 21:** you'd be home!

**Chapter 3: Meeting the family (21.3.12)**

After eating we all hang around the living room and listened to music. It was actually relaxing but I was still really nervous. I couldn't help it. And the weird glances I got didn't help me either. The guys had called their women and now we were a reaaaallly big group. Too big for my liking.

"So Olivia...tell us more about yourself." Jackson's girlfriend said.

"Uhm...well there isn't much to say about me."

"Please baby. There is so much! She moved here from Germany. All alone!" Ben said

"Really? How come?"

"I needed a change. So after my graduation I packed my stuff and my best friend and we moved down here. I started working for a close friend."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a support worker."

"Care to explain?" _damn those girlfriends_

"Well I'm working with people who have a disability. I used to work for my friend in a Center but I soon quit and now I work as a free assistant. I'm helping them live a normal live and support them in every day situations. I have a lot of kids to assist but also grown ups. I go shopping with them, do housing stuff, go to the doctors, help them in financial situations and work with them to keep their abilities up."

"Wow, that sound interesting!" Jerad said,

„But it's probably really hard! What do you mean with keeping their abilities up?"

"It is hard. Most of them have had a totally normal life until an accident changed that. I basically just motivate them to do as much by themselves as they can. I assist them but I don't do stuff for them. And I try to train them. Help them walk again or use their hands. Stuff like that."

We talked a little while longer but I soon couldn't just sit there and let the death stares kill me so I got up and started to clean up all the mess we made.

I was totally into cleaning when I heard the girls behind me.

"We need to talk." Jerad's wife said

"OK."

"We don't think it's a good idea that you're dating Ben."

"Oh. OK. Sure." _what else can you say? _I nodded and dried my hands on the towel.

"You're probably a nice girl but you and Ben juts wouldn't work. He's too much in the spotlight right now and he needs to work on this. He's still so young and should have fun and not settle for something because its there! And we really don't think you fit into our group. And you really don't fit with Ben. Not your personality or your looks. So its better if you go home and leave him alone got it?"

"Yes. I'll just grab my stuff and go." _Don't cry now! You know they are right!_

"Good."

They all left and I was standing there trying not to cry. I looked at the kitchen and was glad everything was done.

The guys were laughing in the living room while the girls were outside. I saw Ben looking at me and smiling. I would miss it. Totally. I smiled back and went to go to the bathroom. At least I acted that way. When they weren't looking I changed direction and headed straight for the front door. Better leave now than later. I would find a place to stay. And Ben would forget me.

But just as I was about to open the door

"Liv? Baby where are you going?" Ben called.

"I..."

"Baby whats up?" _don't come closer please!_ "Liv you're crying! Whats wrong? Come on tell me! Did I do something wrong?" Ben was pleading with me.

"No! Oh god no! How can you do something wrong? You're perfect Ben. It's me! I'm totally wrong for you and I should go."

"Please don't. You're not wrong. You think I'm perfect? Please! I'm not. If anyone is perfect it's you! What makes you think you're wrong baby?"

He pulled me into him, hugged me tight and than pushed me back a little. He kissed my forehead while his hands held my face and he made me look up at him.

"They are right. I just don't fit. You deserve better than me. Someone who is beautiful and smart and fun. Who knows your job and who your friends would like!"

"But you are all those things! What made you think otherwise?"

"The girls. They told me. And I believe they are right!"

I couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. I let the first one slip from my eye and than I couldn't stop. Ben was watching me. Also with tears in his eyes as he brushed mine away.

"They said you don't fit?"

I could only nod. I knew he was going to realize it. It was only a question of a few moments. But what really shocked me was his reaction. He brushed my tears away, gave me a kiss and stormed away. Right to the girls. He ripped open the doors and started screaming.

"Who do you think you are? What right do you have to go to my girl and tell her she doesn't fit? Are you fucking out of your mind? This woman inside there is the most amazing thing on earth. And I don't know why but somehow I was lucky to meet her and I am even more lucky that she likes me and wants to spend time with me and you go and tell her stuff that isn't true! You don't know her. All you've been doing is giving her stupid looks and questions or comments. And you don't really know me! But yet you still think you have the right to make my girl feel like shit! I swear if you ever come near her again or even talk to her left alone tell her something stupid like this I will make sure you life is a living hell! You got this?"

I stood there listing and suddenly it hit me. He was defending me! I stormed after him and grabbed his arm.

"Ben stop this! I'm not worth all this so just leave them alone. They just said the truth!"

He turned to me and the look he was giving me was actually scaring me. "Go upstairs to my room. Now." He turned me around and pushed me to the stairs and I was actually scared, what was he gonna do to me?

He slammed the door shut behind him and I stood there in the middle of his room trembling, totally scared of what he'd may do.

"I'm really sorry Ben!"

"You should be! Never say you aren't worth anything I do. Because you are! You don't see yourself like I do but I will make sure that one day you will. I will show you how amazing you are! Everything they said isn't true. You fit so perfectly and I really like you. I could promise you the world but I know it would be too soon. But I want you to know that you are perfect for me. And when the time is right I will make sure you never leave me again. I will make you as happy as one person can be. Just say the word and I'll give you everything. For so long I've been looking for you and now that I've found you I won't ever let you go again."

He took a step closer to me and I instantly took a step back. Still scared of what he might do.

"Don't be afraid of me baby. You never have to fear me. I will never hurt you. All that you will ever feel with me is gentleness. I promise you this."

I took a deep breath and tried to relax as he took another step towards me and when his arms encircled me I instantly relaxed.

This was not how I had planned this evening. But somehow it showed me just how amazing Ben truly is. How mow I could trust him.

I don't know how long we stood like this or how long I've been crying but it seemed like hours. I just breathed in his scent and it was the most relaxing thing in the world.

When we heard a soft knock on the door we parted and Ben wiped away my tears, gave me a kiss and a smile and went to answer the door. I heard him talking with Jackson and went to sit down on the bed. The night had definitely worn me out. I rested my head on his bed and closed my eyes listening to his deep voice. I couldn't understand what they were saying but just the fact that he was talking was relaxing me.

I moment later I felt the bed shift and an arm being draped around me. When I opened my eyes I saw Ben propped up on one elbow and smiling down at me.

"Are you tired?" he whispered.

"I'm not sure. My emotions are all over the place. I'm exhausted but I know I wouldn't get any sleep now." I sighed.

My biggest problem? I couldn't get my mind to shut up. And when I tried to get any sleep after a night like this I would fail. I would fall asleep and wake up a second later.

"That's OK. If you want to we can just lay down and I don't know listen to music or watch a movie or talk or..."

"Shut up." I smiled and gave him a light kiss.

"OK"

"I don't have anything to sleep in." I said after a while. Ben's hand was slowly stroking my stomach while he watched me. Even with my eyes closed I knew he was watching me.

"I'll give you a shirt. Don't worry. Would you like to change?"

"Somehow yes. If it doesn't bother you!"

"Of course baby. Just stay here." he kissed my forehead and got up.

He gave me a shirt that was way to big and some pants that I didn't even try on. The shirt went all the way down to my knees. When I came back from the bathroom he was already on the bed and was watching some show. He was laughing quietly and he looked so beautiful at the moment. When he noticed me he pulled the blanket up and smiled at me.

"Come on in. There's still enough room for little you"

I blushed and rushed over to the bed, slipped under the covers and leaned against his chest. He draped he arm around me and sighed.

"What are you watching?"

"The Walking Dead"

"Oh. Cool"

I closed my eyes and just lay against him until something occurred to me.

"What did you and Jackson talk about?"

"He wanted to know if you were alright. And he told me that everyone left. I told him I would explain everything tomorrow." When he said that his arm tightened around me. "I think maybe we should tell them."

"Tell them what?"

"A little of what happened to you."

"I can't Ben. You only know a little of what happened. The story is not nice,"

"I know baby. And one day I hope you can tell me everything that happened but for now I just want them to know that something has happened to you. No details. Just basic information."

"Is that all?"

"I just don't want them to wonder you know. I know its not easy for you and you don't have to tell them everything. But we are a pretty open group. We talk about everything."

"I'll think about it OK?"

"That's totally fine. No one will pressure you to do this. I just want you to know that they will understand. They will help. And I can assure you that the girls will have a lot to answer tonight. We don't let this happen without consequences."

"OK"

I turned onto my side and a second later the TV went off and Ben cuddled up behind me. I closed my eyes and let another tear fall. They wouldn't understand, How could they? No one ever did. And maybe Ben just wanted me to tell them because he couldn't either. Maybe he couldn't even handle this situation and was just looking for a way out.

"What's going on in that head?"

"I'm afraid that when I tell them they won't understand. I'm afraid you don't understand and that you just look for a way to get rid of me."

"Its not that. I just...I really like you. I want them to know. I want them to understand. I want them to realize why I feel so protective about you. You don't have to be afraid of anything. They will support you. They are so happy. For me. For us. And nothing that we talk about will ever be turned against you."

"I just have to think about this. Give me the night."

"You get all the time you want. Just think about it. But not tonight. Sleep now. You're safe in my arms. I will never let anything hurt." He kissed my shoulder and pulled me a little more against him and I knew he was right. I was safe.

**Soooo this is it for today. Sorry for the delay but I had a problem with my computer. I hope you guys like it and I'm probably gonna post the next chapter on Friday. So don't worry everything will work out ;)**

**Love and hugs**


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